writer - performer - creator - etc.

hi! i'm ted, a brooklyn-based omni-hyphenate.
i specialize in comedy, improvisation and interactive narratives.

need a badass writer-for-hire? GO HERE. 
if you need a professional-fool, then scroll on my friend:  

take a look around, and GIVE ME A SHOUT if you have any questions.

the chops of Bradley Cooper, the timing of Galifianakis, and the looks of a muppet-version of their lovechild.
— ted limpert



i was recently on THE DETOUR on TBS:


when i'm not fooling on big networks, i make my own sh*t:

pictures are great and all, but GIVE ME A SHOUT to ask me about my latest project.

 the hottest comedy on the internet.

my comedy group (BORT) made these vids, and the internet approves!

what's that? had enough?! sorry. there's more!

i'd love to be in your thing, CONTACT ME (or my agents)!

i wrote this...


a bizarre and interactive, post-procedural epoch about a wide-eyed sociopath.

CHOOSE YOUR OWN MCGURSKEY is chock full of public humiliation, hallucinations, dead pets and Kung Fu Jesus.

made in NY with my extremely talented comedy team, BORT COMEDY


feeling abandoned by his sister, a stubborn young man drowns in distorted childhood memories while simultaneously trying to reconnect.

MY SISTER MOSY (coming soon) is a short film about family, memory and madness. Minimal dialogue and surreal imagery/sound reflect the mental imbalance of the main character.

made with the ever-brilliant mr. FILIPE BESSA.



with 10+ years of professional writing and copy-editing experience, i make several bajillions of dollars from my glorious words.

go ahead, check out MY PORTFOLIO.

the man, the myth, the voice.

my voice is the most famous part of my body!


in addition to voicing these spots, i also produced them!

i have an isolated recording booth with:

•  macbook pro 2015 laptop
•  akg c214 microphone
•  apogee duet audio interface
•  logic pro x software

hire me on:


 you can also CONTACT MY VO AGENT!

sound town, population: me.

i'm rarely ashamed to be caught diddling my fiddle.

also, i produced and played on these incredible albums:  

get in touch.

contact me, before I contact you.

name *

commercial rep:
phil cassese // jerry kallarakkal
stewart talent

vo rep:
jason sasportas
stewart talent